Mastering Constructive Feedback: Unveiling the Hidden Power of Mental Models
Giving constructive feedback can be one of the trickiest parts of leadership, and it’s well-known that leaders who excel at it tend to have more engaged and motivated teams. After more than a decade of facilitating leadership programs, I’ve become quite curious about why some leaders, despite receiving extensive training, still shy away from giving feedback.
When I dug into the research, I found an interesting revelation: the ability to navigate feedback largely hinges on a leader’s underlying beliefs about managing relationships. Psychologists refer to these belief systems as “mental models.”
Now, if I were to ask any leader, “What are your mental models about relationships that affect your feedback delivery?” I wouldn’t expect to get a straightforward answer. The truth is, our mental models reside deep within our subconscious, making them tough to pinpoint in isolation. They quietly run in the background, influencing our emotions, thoughts, actions, and words. This is the brain’s efficient way of handling the diverse social situations we encounter daily.
Our mental models take shape through various social contexts during our upbringing, shaped by family, friends, school, and community. Once formed, they tend to stick around, driving both constructive behaviours, like comfortably giving feedback, and limiting behaviours that hold us back.
These models play a crucial role in how we handle potential conflicts, whether we lean on others for support, or extend trust to someone even after they’ve let us down. All of these factors come into play when addressing underperformance and guiding team members through feedback.
The silver lining here is that mental models, once identified through self-awareness, can be reevaluated and transformed. We can examine and question why we think, feel, or act in certain ways and identify the mental model at the root of it all. From there, we can decide whether it’s serving us well or not, and make the choice to change it. This transformation can happen instantly or may require deliberate effort over time.
If you’re interested in delving deeper into these concepts and more, I invite you to explore my six-month program, “The Secure Leader.” It’s designed to help you navigate the intricacies of feedback and much more.
