I wanted to chat with you about leaders asking team members to “be positive.”
So, here’s the deal: the positivity movement is making its way into organisations, and as a Positive Psychology professional, I’m all for it. However, there’s a concern it can be misused. Positive Psychology shouldn’t be a way to ignore problems, or only allow ‘happy’ emotions. The reality is that uncomfortable emotions are a vital way of letting us know when something needs to change.
As leaders we want to avoid sweeping things under the rug or dismissing team member concerns as trivial or “too negative for our positive culture.” So before diving into being positive, there are six important things leaders should do first. Let’s go through them:
- Teach individuals how to raise concerns constructively. Help your team become great at identifying problems but encourage them to reframe those problems in terms of finding solutions. To do this, coach them to use what’s called ‘approach’ language. For instance, a team member might say: “This organisation doesn’t understand our workload and keeps overloading us”. This is a circumstance they obviously don’t want and wish to avoid. From here, you can help them identify what they want instead, which could be phrased as: “We need to find ways to make our workload more reasonable”. This is an approach focus. So it’s okay to start by identifying clearly what they don’t want, but the deal is that you then just as clearly define what they do want, and work out how to get it.
- Learn how to listen – I mean, really listen. It’s necessary to explore what’s been going wrong and hear your team members’ frustrations and grievances. If you don’t listen to them, they’ll find someone else who will. And we know they’ll keep talking with intensifying emotion, which is how toxic cultures take hold. When approached by a team member, you might be half-listening while juggling other problems and tasks. But with listening there’s no half in-half out. It’s got to be all-in. If you’re in the middle of something, either drop it, or make a time so you can listen fully.
- Keep the focus on the issue and avoid blaming individuals. We often try to find someone to blame when we’re uncomfortable. “I’m feeling overloaded, so I’m going to resent my manager for giving me this work.” Or “Lucy in finance is unhelpful, and that’s why I can’t get things done.” Leaders should be skilled at helping team members separate the issue from the person. The issues are about communication, expectations, workload management, and workflow, not about Lucy or the manager.
- Follow up on discussions and concerns. If you’ve made a commitment to address an issue, make sure you follow through. It can be a quick catch-up or a short email just to check in with a team member, letting them know that you’ve heard their concerns and are looking into it. Sometimes, it might involve setting up a solution-finding session. And if there’s nothing you can do to change the situation at the moment, be honest and let them know. Following up is crucial because team members won’t forget, no matter how long ago they raised a concern.
- Provide a rationale for decisions. Not every decision will be approved by your team, so it’s important to offer a clear and simple explanation for decisions. Sometimes, you may need to modify the explanation to exclude sensitive or confidential information. Skilled leaders find a way to present a rationale for decisions that at least makes sense. When things can’t be done, or they can’t change, people at least want to know why. It lets them in on the decision and allows them to process it.
- Accept that not all decisions will be popular, and some things won’t change. The reality is that you can’t keep everyone happy all the time. Some issues are simply out of your control as a leader. For example, your organisation may be going through a months-long restructure, and team members are feeling stressed, disgruntled, and preoccupied. While you can’t stop the restructure, you might be able to support your team by keeping them informed, listening and offering opportunities to manage stress and build resilience.
So, remember, bypassing genuine employee concerns and jumping into “being positive” too soon can have the opposite effect. There are at least these six things we need to do to prepare for positivity.
Positive Psychology has a lot to offer leaders and organisations. If you’re interested in learning more feel free to shoot me an email at kylie@wrenlearning.com.au
Kylie
